Trump: "I'll take $1 a year as president." How about we give him $4 right now, tell him thanks very much and send him on his way?!

Isn't that redundant?

Just when you thought all the news was bad

"Tonight at 11: Hear from a man who saved his neighbor from a naked attacker."

"He is also, judging by his emails, surprisingly tolerant of forwarded videos of mischievous kittens." -Sherlock Holmes (Elementary)

Henceforth, if anyone uses "I'm in grad school" as an excuse for anything short of murder, I will allow it.

I joined a fitness center last week. It looked quite nice when I was there. I've given a lot of thought to actually going back for a workout at some point...

I was just startled by a sound, until I realized that it was the dog having a drink. Wait, I don't have a dog. But that was the unmistakable sound of a dog lapping water. I flipped on the patio light and caught him in the act; a large, black lab helping himself to a drink from my birdbath. And he had the nerve to bark at me.