That's just whacky!

Not sure what's sadder -- that they can't spell shirts or that $1.89 (rather, I 89) dry cleaning is all it takes to make a Wednesday wacky in the Fort.

When you absolutely, positively cannot have wet hair for another moment!

Anyone know where I can get a nice Chianti?

At work, we have an outside party who consistently sends us email messages like this:

That Works For me On This End. Would You Be Able To Send Direct To The Customer???

That Would be Even Better Than Sending To Me.

Thanks,

XX

This drives me crazy in ways I can't begin to explain. Why?! Why start each word with a capital letter? Even if the person was originally from Germany, only their nouns are capitalized. Try typing a sentence or two like that--it's awkward and time consuming. This person either never took any sort of English class, ever, or thinks this looks more official for some reason. 

End of rant. 

Well, there goes my scheme to make a little extra cash by counterfeiting money on the office copy machine.

“Curses! Foiled Again!”

Don't quotation marks imply a euphemism? This sign seems to indicate that employees need only "wash hands" if they're feeling like it, wink wink. Or "wash hands" may be code for something else at this establishment. Oh, the intrigue.

Here's the thing: When you're towing a large truck at night, maybe turn off its headlights. It was quite disconcerting to see this--I thought I was suddenly driving into oncoming traffic.

Bed, Bath, and Bring Your Own....Duvet?

One of my coworkers turned 40 today and I gave him bubble wrap. He works in what we call the cube farm. For him, and me, it turned out to be the gift that kept on giving. Maybe not so much for his coworkers.

It has recently come to my attention that farting is an acceptable aberrant practice in yoga class. But really, woman next to me, before the class even starts?

I remember many a product endorsement from my youth. "Momma's got the magic of Clorox 2." "Raise your hand if you're Sure!" "Please, don't squeeze the Charmin." "I am stuck on Band Aid brand cos Band Aid's stuck on me." Grammatically bad in some cases, ""Kids love Kix for what Kix has got. Moms love Kix for what Kix has not." But most of the commercials I remember from back then were fun and campy, laughable and sing-along-able.

I weep for today's youth. Where are the fond remembrances from commercials for Viagra, ED, prevention of pneumococcal pneumonia, and ads for medications of every kind, along with their litany of potential side effects?