It has recently come to my attention that farting is an acceptable aberrant practice in yoga class. But really, woman next to me, before the class even starts?

I remember many a product endorsement from my youth. "Momma's got the magic of Clorox 2." "Raise your hand if you're Sure!" "Please, don't squeeze the Charmin." "I am stuck on Band Aid brand cos Band Aid's stuck on me." Grammatically bad in some cases, ""Kids love Kix for what Kix has got. Moms love Kix for what Kix has not." But most of the commercials I remember from back then were fun and campy, laughable and sing-along-able.

I weep for today's youth. Where are the fond remembrances from commercials for Viagra, ED, prevention of pneumococcal pneumonia, and ads for medications of every kind, along with their litany of potential side effects?

Trump: "I'll take $1 a year as president." How about we give him $4 right now, tell him thanks very much and send him on his way?!

Isn't that redundant?

Just when you thought all the news was bad

"Tonight at 11: Hear from a man who saved his neighbor from a naked attacker."

"He is also, judging by his emails, surprisingly tolerant of forwarded videos of mischievous kittens." -Sherlock Holmes (Elementary)

Henceforth, if anyone uses "I'm in grad school" as an excuse for anything short of murder, I will allow it.